One of the downsides of a liberal art education is that one becomes especially good at critical thinking and finding the flaws.

When you concentrate on failures and deficiencies you miss the beauty. Brokenness and evil will always be with us. No matter how hard we strive we will never correct the imperfections in ourselves or others so why dwell there?

If I compare myself to you do I feel better or worse? Do I feel superior because I focused on your weakness.

For all the rocks I’ve thrown (and they have been many) what has it gained me?

Maybe our crippling anxiety and neuroses is related to our inability to see beauty

Maybe if I lay my rocks down I’ll find my own peace

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They say there is no place like home

Home is different for everyone

We all long to be home

Home is a place of rest

Home is a place of wholeness

Home is striving ceased and simply being

No one needs to pretend when they are home

Some of us haven’t been home in years

It’s not that we are not allowed to go home

We throw all these roadblocks in our own way

Trying to reach that next level of achievement or some semblance of being right

When we finally learn to accept the angst

Accept the anxiety

We find we are home

It’s amazing that at 35 I still feel like I am lost

I assumed by this point I would know what I was doing but I clearly don’t

My parents always seemed so sure of themselves and the path they were blazing

I am constantly looking back questioning each turn

It’s probably not right that I think about lost relationships and bridges burned

Yeah I am older and wiser now (maybe) but I would probably fuck it up in some other way

It’s funny how at the time I blamed everything on you completely overlooking the pile of manure and inadequacies i brought to the equation

2016 – the year we wish that we could forget

the year the poison bubbling beneath rose to the surface

cling to what is good , evidences of grace

this does not feel ok…this is all not ok…

A lonely island separated from kith and kin

forget who you were supposed to be forget it all

dont stop swimming

the shore is there

we promise

 

Photo credit : https://saltwaterdreams.wordpress.com

She smiled in a big way, the way a girl like that smilesWhen the world is hers and she held your eyes

Out in the breezeway down by the shore in the lazy summer

And she pulled you in, and she bit your lip, and she made you hers

She looked deep into you as you lay together quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer
But you’ve already lost

When you only had barely enough to hang on
And she combed your hair, and she kissed your teeth

And she made you better than you’d been before

She told you bad things you wished you could change in the lazy summer

And she told you, laughing down to her core, so she would not cry as she lay in your lap

She said “nobody here can live forever, quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer”
But you’ve already lost

When you only had barely enough to hang on
She said, “no one is alone the way you are alone”

And you held her looser than you would have if you ever could have known

Some things tie your life together, slender threads and things to treasure

Days like that should last and last and last
But you’ve already lost

When you only had barely enough of her to hang on

Oh summer, love

Side by side on the grass

Each touch electric
Oh summer, love

Life seems easy floating on air

Each breath in rhythm
Oh summer, love

We are not meant to linger here

Each sunset brings tension
Oh summer, love

September creeps in with cloudy storms 

Each rain drop you slowly fade
Oh summer, love

Don’t forget me when you’re gone

For years I’ve wanted to forgive you

For years I’ve tried

every time I saw your picture 

your name was mentioned 

my heart paused 

my mouth went dry

Let’s forgive while we’re still breathing

Let’s bury this shame

Every rumour spread

Endless accusations 

He bore it all 
At Calvary