Earnest pleading seems to capture how i am feeling at the moment. A pleading for the fever to break, the storm to pass or whatever metaphor you would like. What is it that you want from me? Why is it that in the midst of calm and tranquility my heart rages so?
Do not be over-anxious about anything, but by prayer and earnest pleading, together with thanksgiving, let your request be unreservedly made known in the presence of God. (Phil 4:6) WNT
What if at the end of it all there is still no peace?
Revelations and realizations have compounded the fears but alas the game must be played. Masks must be worn, for in the masks we find temporary safety.